The Story of Iris

Today is a very special day! It is Iris' birthday. She turns one year today and we rewarded all her hard work in growing with shots. But she has forgiven us. I thought that I would honor her in this blog post by sharing her story. I'm sure most or all of you know it. I've tried to share it as often as I could. So if you are sick of hearing it... too bad! My blog, my rules! So here goes:

The story of Iris starts much earlier than you might think. We began our paperwork for a second adoption in February of 2004. We took our time, we weren't in a big hurry to fill it out. Abby was only 18 months and we still felt like she needed our full attention. Besides, the paperwork is hefty and tedious. So we began slowly and finished by November of 2004. Once approved, we began the adoption waiting game. I use the word game, but it really isn't fun. You play by waiting, praying, hoping, planning and trying really hard not to knock out Sister so and so from church who asks every Sunday if we've heard anything yet! I am happy to report that there were no incidents of violence.

Fast forward two years to November 2006. We received a phone call from a family member that she had found us a birthmom who was very interested in placing her baby boy with us. Keeping with tradition, I cried, and we all jumped for joy. We met her and really liked her. So we began the next step... placement waiting game. This game is a little more fun because you usually have a general end time and you know if you are expecting a boy or girl. We tried not to get our hopes up too much as she was a single mom to two other boys, and we had one failed adoption before Abby was born. But as easy as it is to tell ourselves not to be excited, well, it is really hard to actually do it. So, we began planning and praying and waiting. After February of 2007, our birthmom became very distant. She didn't return calls or make her counseling appointments. I began to be very scared. Then, I did what I've done before. I prayed and gave my anguish and fear over to Heavenly Father. I felt such peace in that moment. I learned a lot during this time about hope, prayer and what is most important. I learned that Abby was enough, Nate was enough. That we were already tremendously blessed to have what we have and that if we didn't get this boy, we'd be ok.

Finally, on April 17th I got a call from our birthmom. She told me that she changed her mind, she was getting married... sorry. Even though I was prepared for that, it was hard. I cried a lot. Abby cried too. I'm sure Nate shed some tears in private. We were moving in a few months, and things just didn't seem like they'd work out. But in that moment of devastation, I was overcome with a feeling of peace. I couldn't be mad or sad or lost. I knew that I could get through this and everything would be okay. I said to Nate, "wouldn't it be cool if Julie (she's our caseworker) just called us and told us our baby was here?" Once I said those words, I locked that little desire deep in my heart. No one could know it was there.

On April 23rd, after visiting my friend, Rachel, I came home to see a message on the machine. When I pushed the button, there was no message. I checked the caller ID, and it was our adoption agency. I figured they were calling to check on us since we lost the baby. I called and this is how the conversation went:

LDSFS: This is LDSFS
Me: Hi this is Amy, did you call?
LDSFS: Amy, have you talked to your husband?
Me: Um, No, why?
LDSFS: You have to hang up right now and call your husband.
Me: Um, what is going on?
Now Julie gets on the phone
Julie: Amy, have you talked to Nathan?
Me: Um, no
Julie: Well he is on his way home. You have to get ready. Your daughter is waiting for you in Colton (Colton, CA was two hours away from our house--- again for your benefit).

Me-- WHILE JUMPING UP AND DOWN: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Julie: No
Me-- JULIE! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I DON'T BELIEVE THIS! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Julie: No
(Okay so just repeat this for ten minutes and you get the gist of it).

And then I heard the sweetest words I think I'll ever hear. These words made the past two and half years of waiting, hoping, praying, hurting worth it. I heard Abby say, "I'm going to get a baby sister!"

So after borrowing Rachel's carseat which happened to be at her neighbors, and packing a diaper bag, we headed off to Colton. And there waiting for us was:

Our first official family picture

Let me close by telling you what I know about Iris. Iris is a true miracle. She came to us after the trial of our faith. It wasn't faith that we'd get what we wanted. We had faith that Heavenly Father knew what we needed, we had faith that He wouldn't leave us alone. We had faith that He would strengthen us and hold us up. I felt His presence so close in those few days between our loss and our miracle. He sustained me because of my faith in Him. I know that He knows me. He was the only one who knew that little desire tucked into my heart. Iris was His way of saying, "You've waited, you've given all you could, and done all you could. This is my gift to you because I love you." He knew that I would still have faith in Him if I never had another child. So Iris, is a miracle because she was everything I didn't know I needed! And trust me on this, if He loves me enough to give me this gift, He loves all of you too.