I'm scared. I'm scared for my Abby. I'm not usually over-emotional about things that happen to other people, but today, I'm scared. In the past week there have been two girls (one age 7 and one age 9) who have disappeared walking home. Both of those girls are now dead.
The seven year old, from Florida, was walking home with her siblings, got in a squabble with them, walked ahead and was never seen again. She was abducted, murdered and placed in the garbage to be found in a Georgia landfill. Her name is Somer Thompson.
The nine year old, from Missouri, was walking home from a friends house (a 1/4 mile trip) and never made it there. Her body was found in a wooded area, a juvenile has been brought in as a person of interest. This little girl's name is Elizabeth Olten.
Now Abby is rarely out of my sight. If she goes outside to the front yard, I'm with her. I'll let her play in the back yard (it is fenced) without me, but I check on her a lot. The same is with Iris. I walk Abby to the bus stop (its at the bottom of the hill of our cul de sac) in the mornings and watch her get on. Now in the afternoons I usually let her walk home from the bus stop alone. I can't do that anymore. I don't know ALL my neighbors, and it wouldn't be hard for someone will bad intentions to snatch her.
I HATE feeling paranoid and unsafe in my neighborhood. I HATE that there are people out there that hurt children. And I am so sad for these families. What kind of world do we live in where a nine year old can't walk 1/4 mile home without going missing? I tremble to think of all the time I spent ALONE as a kid walking to meet friends, walking to the convenience store for a candy or just walking around to use up time. I could not let my kids do that... especially not now.
Am I over reacting? Will my kids grow up to be paranoid about the people around them? How are we supposed to teach our children independence in a world that abuses/hurts them and then throws them away? All I want to do is lock my doors and hold my kids close to me, but I can't do that. How do I deal with this anxiety and let go when it is time to let go? I recognize it is still early for me. No one would expect me to send my girls, the ages they are, off by themselves anywhere. But nine? That girl was nine!
Sorry this isn't a "happy" post. It is an honest post. I'm scared.
January 2019
7 years ago
11 comments:
I wish I had some wise words...but I'm scared too. I struggle with how to give independence while holding on with a very tight leash!
Also...VERY jealous of your beach trip and wondering about a few of the things you learned...licking crab off of someone elses eyebrow? Interesting.
You should be worried! I am. We've discovered that we a re pretty over protective parents compared to our Utah friends. Do what's right for you and yours. Try to give them supervised independence? And maybe having an open blog with pics of kidlets and just describing their daily schedule for all...might make you nervous?
I don't think you are overreacting. It's scary!
I agree it is scary. Maybe you should start her in karate classes or something. I don't know. :)
It is a scary world, I have a hard time letting my kids play in the front yard. I am getting better, but only if there are a lot of kids out there playing. It is hard, because I want them to be independant and have more freedom, like I had growing up.
Cora is getting close to 9 now. Even if we were in America, I would not let her walk to or from the bus stop, a friend's house, or anywhere else alone, or let her play in the front yard alone. She is constantly supervised, BUT I don't draw attention to it, and so far she's never thought of it as an issue. In fact right now she likes being with me as much as possible, so that works for me. Having my kids taken is NOT something I like to think about, so why even take a chance?
Unfortunately it can be just as scary for little boys. There are so many bad people out there. My anxiety and worry is right there with you.
I think that this is one of the areas where our 24/7 news coverage does us no favors. Children were abducted when you & I were growing up and roaming all over our towns unsupervised--we just didn't hear about it all day every day like we do now. And I think that one of the side effects of the constant barrage of media attention to these horrific events is to make us fearful.
On the other hand, we are told that when we are in fear, we cannot be in faith. They cannot co-exist. The fact of the matter is that there are many things in this world that we cannot protect our children from, no matter how vigilant we are. We cannot protect them from being born with a terminal disease, from being in a car accident, from getting a terrible illness, or even from playing on their scooter this evening and chipping their front tooth. If we let ourselves, we can be paralyzed by fear of what could be.
For me, the answer seems to be to be prudent, careful, and most of all prayerful, and then to trust in Heavenly Father's plan.
I don't think you're overreacting at all. That kind of stuff freaks me out too. In fact. . .I don't let my 17 year old walk home from the bus stop if I'm not home. She's the only one that gets off the bus there and it's a third of a mile on a fairly untraveled road. These children were given to us to raise, love and protect. . .you're just doing what Heavenly Father charged you with. You're a great mom.
I find myself nervous sometimes, too. I figure all I can do is be watchful and responsible and then recognize that the rest is beyond my control. That said, you won't be seeing my kids walking themselves to school when they start. No ma'am.
You are not overreacting-you being a good mom. I don't know if or when I would allow Bud to walk home, but for sure not anytime soon!
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