Gratitude (aka Obligatory Ponder Worthy Post)

As many of you know, motherhood is difficult for me.  It is the most challenging, yet most rewarding thing I have ever or will ever do.  My girls were given to me for a reason.  I see it more and more every day.  Actually, they were given to me for many reasons.  One obvious one is to learn more patience, another is to understand unconditional love, another is to learn how to laugh at life, and yet another is to appreciate my own mother.

This past week or so, I’m also realizing that my girls, Abby in particular, are here to teach me about being open to the Spirit as I try to mother these beautiful spirits.  I have no doubt that Heavenly Father is always teaching me through my attempts to teach my children.

So here’s the scoop.  Abby is in the process of getting orthodontics.  She needs a palate expander and in order to get one, she needs to wear spacers in her teeth for two weeks.  I didn’t realize these would be put on with our first visit, which was scheduled the week before Halloween.  Had I realized that, I would have waited a week.  But as it stands, they are in and Abby’s diet is extremely limited.  Well, I should say her junk food diet is extremely limited.  The one thing she wants more than anything else is popcorn.  The denial of this has just sent her over the edge so that anything else denied to her is seen as a great injustice.  Needless to say, for the past two weeks we have had a few monumental meltdowns (not that there are any other kind where Abby is concerned).  My usual approach to this is to tell her to go to her room, yell at her or start into a series of lectures that even the most boring college professor would be proud of.

But the other day, as Abby was in the midst of one of these tantrums, I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and opened my spirit up for some guidance.  When I opened my eyes, I calmly said, “Abby, I need to teach you something, but I won’t be able to unless you calm down.”  To which, she calmed down and sat still to hear what I would say.  I looked at her and told her that I needed her to repeat after me.  “I don’t always get what I want, but I always have what I need.”  She did.  Then she smiled.  Then I explained that she would repeat this statement whenever I felt like she needed to be reminded of it.  If she was sassy or rude when saying it she could repeat it again as if she believed it, or have a time out.  She continues to choose to repeat this statement.

The best part about this new strategy is that every time she says it, my heart recognizes the truth in it, and I repeat the words in spirit.  It has helped me so much this week to focus on what I HAVE instead of the ever elusive what I WANT.  And it has brought the yelling in my house down to almost nil.  And as if this wasn’t enough, the girls were looking through the Target Toy ad and pining over everything in there.  After that, Abby said, “You know mom, I want everything in that book, but I’m really happy with what I already have.”

AAAAHHHHHAAAAAA!!! (that is my attempt at typing what it would sound like if angels sang)

 And I can tell you that I may want tantrum-free kids, but I am sure grateful for the kids I have!